


Effortless

by iwa_questionmark



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort/Angst, Other, Sad oiks :(, s2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 16:44:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21200864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwa_questionmark/pseuds/iwa_questionmark
Summary: Oikawa Tooru may seem to function effortlessly.You know better.





	Effortless

**Author's Note:**

> For context - when on Youtube, if you press 'k' the video will pause, if 'j' it'll rewind a little and if 'l' it'll forward a little.

Oikawa Tooru may seem to function effortlessly.

Every step, set and serve is filled with grace and confidence. His cocky aura makes the illusion of ease even thicker. A delicately crafted facade. So effective, that most onlookers don’t even bother to consider his victories as anything more than talent.

You know better.

You know better because sometimes he lets you into his fragile world and asks for your comfort. You can never see it coming though. He hides everything up to the boiling point without fail.

Only then can you catch a glimpse of the consequences of a life like his.

You try your best to be an escape for him. You can’t help but be. Once you see the person behind the carefree grin you can no longer ignore it. Whether it’s buying extra milk bread and joining him somewhere to hide during breaks or gentle positive texts late at night to remind him to sleep, you try your best.

You can never tell when he will break.

Sometimes you can guess though.

Karasuno vs Aoba Johsai

Losing is painful.

But losing to Tobio Kageyama must’ve been unbearable.

You watched it happen from the front seats. You saw him. His fall.

And you saw how thick Toorus facade became. He was the captain, he had to be the leader, to stand strong. To not show weakness. He walked to thank the crowd and you could practically feel all the repressed emotions radiating off of him.

He didn’t make eye contact with you at any point when he left the court. He wasn’t at your usual meet point either. It was tradition to go for ice cream after his games, though this was the first time you witnessed a loss. You couldn’t catch Iwaizumi or the others either. Everyone disappeared to mourn in their own ways. It seems they left scamming the captain for a free meal to a day where their wounds had healed a little.

An uncomfortable tightness settled in your stomach. You didn’t even bother to consider not going to Tooru. You could feel discomfort just thinking what he must be going through.

Shiratorizawa. Medals. Nationals.

None were in his future anymore.

You hurried over.

When you entered his home two familiar shoes were haphazardly scattered by the door. You collect his two shoes and place them together neatly in their place, then adding your own beside. A backpack and jacket further along the floor of the corridor, leading to his room. The familiar flooring beneath you did little to comfort you. The atmosphere of dread became thicker, yet thicker with every step you took towards his room. Behind his door - radio silence.

You gently knocked on the door with a single knuckle, the sharp sound sounding out in the quiet home.

‘Tooru, it’s me’

Silence. Then - a hushed whimper.

You felt dizzy, a shot of adrenaline pumping through your system.

Were your limbs always this heavy?

'I’m coming in, alright?’

You waited once again, hopeful for a response.

None came.

Your body felt like a ragdoll. A puppet, weighed down to the ground. Lanky fabric limbs desperately trying to flop to their goal and finding it too difficult.

A deep breath.

You had to snap out of it.

For him.

Taking control of yourself and preparing your mind you press the door handle down.

Light from the corridor invades his room and disturbs a comfy dark. The brightness paints a rectangle in the shape of the doorway on his floor, your silhouette also there, a crisp shadow.

However the light from outside the room wasn’t the only one present.

A computer monitor at the other end of the room.

'Tooru?’

Still no response. He didn’t even flinch.

Blue light framed his figure as he sat hunched over in front of the computer.

You closed the slightly creaky door and took a few steps forward, carefully tip-toeing to not startle your lover. Once closer you could see the screen over his shoulder.

The match was already online. A few thousand views. Sound off. Some minutes before the end.

Kageyama’s set.

Nr. 10s spike.

Three person block.

Ball towards Oikawa.

**Slam.**

*_click_*

You moved to his side.

Toorus clenched hand was on the keyboard. Only the pointer finger was free from the fist and it rested on the 'j’ key, resetting the video a few seconds back every time it reached the ball slamming past Tooru.

Kageyama’s set.

Nr. 10s spike.

Three person block.

Ball towards Oikawa.

**Slam.**

*_click_*

His eyes didn’t leave the monitor for even a second.

His eyes…?

Kageyama’s set.

Nr. 10s spike.

Three person block.

Ball towards Oikawa.

**Slam.**

*_click_*

His eyes were reddened, unblinking, unfocused. It didn’t even look like he was particularly watching the video, just fazing out to the view of failure.

Kageyama’s set.

Nr. 10s spike.

Three person block.

Ball towards Oikawa.

'Tooru… ’

**Slam.**

Whatever trance he was in, your words finally woke him up. His pupils shrunk and he whipped his head to look at you. Eyebrows raised, but eyes cold. You now noticed how dishevelled his hair was, thanks to the angle.

There wasn’t anything you could say to make this hurt less.

Complete silence, but neither of you broke eye contact.

In your peripherals you could see the video moving on past the final point of the game. Toorus finger didn’t move to rewind it.

His chocolate brown eyes didn’t waver. He kept them on yours, perhaps waiting for something. But there was an unusual amount of light from the monitor reflected in his eyes. Almost as if they were glossy. Damp.

Tears.

'Come up, alright?’ You suggested gently and reached a hand to help him from his low desk.

His eyes darted off to the side and you could see the extra layer of moisture wiggling around on his lower eyelids, invited down by gravity.

Nonetheless, a large calloused hand took yours and you provided support.

Even when he stood in front of you, his hand didn’t let yours go. His head was lowered and you could see his throat tense up and relax a few times. He was trying to speak.

'I'mn_m_-

his voice came out weak and wobbly, so he took a deep breath and tried again.

This time he raised his head, eyes closed and a strained smile on his lips.

'Hon_e_st_l_y, I’m r_e_al _gla_d T_o_bio-ch_an_ fin_al_ly le_a_rn_ed_ how to play pr_op_erly! He _w_as so _an_noyi_ng_-’

Before he could even finish his court jester performance of wobbly words a sob wrecked through him and he solemnly droped his head. His hand squeezed yours tightly as his body shuddered and shook with every breath of air.

After a second of trying to compose himself he dropped your hand as if it was scorching. He turned his head away, eyes still closed.

'J_u_st _le_a_v_e _m_e’

The words felt poisonous in the dead silence of his bedroom.

How naively counterintuitive.

You cradled his hand in yours again, he didn’t move an inch.

You gently lead him towards his bed while he tried his best to stop the tears, but his desperately hushed whimpers sounded even more painful. You climbed onto the bed, sat down and pulled him to join you. When he sat on his knees, head still hung you tried to embrace him as best you could. As soon as you did his own arms snapped around you tightly.

Almost like a child clutching a teddy bear after waking up from a nightmare. Clinging to his last provider of comfort.

You took in deep, controlled breaths to calm him and after a while his tired lungs subconsciously joined your relaxed pace. His body was still shaky, but all of his tightly bunched muscles began to loosen.

You didn’t talk.

You felt like you had nothing to say and he thought everything that needed to be said was already clear.

Instead of conversation you took initiative and gently rocked your connected bodies side to side slowly, the repetition making Tooru finally relax and lay limp in your bear hug.

Whimpers quieted and tears dried.

Your thoughts began to dim and you also relaxed and soaked in his warmth.

Calm. Serene. Thankful.

The air of the room felt much better since your entrance.

You felt his chest expand with an unusually large breath. He held it for a bit and a single push from his knee gently overpowered your rocking and the two of you flopped sideways onto his pillows, still conjoined. Warm breath out into your hair.

His chest began to rumble and you tried to listen instead of enjoying the sensation.

'Thank you’

His chin bobbed on the top of your head.

You cuddled into the embrace deeper.

'I’m always here if you need me’

He probably took those words to heart since he squeezed the hug a bit tighter.

Sooner or later, since neither wanted to let go, the two of you fell asleep in each others arms.

Oikawa Tooru is the embodiment of effort.

You’ll remind him his worth in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for reading! I've never done angst before, but I hope it came out alright. If you have anything to comment or any critique, I'd love to hear it!!


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